Change happens on different levels. Life-change methods like coaching, solution-oriented therapy, CBT (cognitive-behavioural therapy) and workplace NLP deal mainly with conscious thoughts and actions. You experiment with doing things differently, or take a different perspective, or set old thoughts aside; you “change your mind.” This is very powerful work and with some clients, it is all I need to do.
But sometimes, behaviour patterns have emotional roots and you need to look deeper to find the magic inside yourself. That can be scary.
When we look inside ourselves, often the first things we come across are “evil dragons:” feelings of being ashamed, guilty, sad, angry, weak or of being prey to futile behaviour we can’t stop. (Or, protectively, we can’t feel anything.) Because we fear and condemn so much in ourselves, we can’t look deeply enough to find the inner treasures. Because we equally expect others to condemn us, we can’t show ourselves to others, and so feel isolated.
When we fear judgment, it is immensely healing to find instead acceptance. So I aim to create a safe and non-judgemental climate for the work. I am very accepting and forgiving of the dark places which people fear inside themselves. That acceptance isn’t just “professional.” It comes from being extremely honest with myself during thirty years of my own inner journey. I’ve looked into all sorts of emotions inside myself and found that when I do so, what lies beyond is peacefulness and joy; always.
Old-style therapies could easily focus on the bad feelings in such a way that the person felt worse and worse. As a result, NHS therapies such as CBT tend to either ignore the dragons completely, or with grim set resolution focus on the positive. Sometimes this is indeed the perfect approach, but it often has severe limitations, because the dragons are still there. My approach is to make friends with them.
What I am is good enough if I would only be it openly.
Carl Rogers, pioneering American therapist
If you'd like to begin to make friends with your dragons and liberate your treasures, give me a ring. I am happy to talk. Andrew White, 0845-3510604 / 0117-968-7307.
Paradise is surrounded by what we dislike; the fires of hell are surrounded by what we desire.
Jelaluddin Rumi, 13th century sufi poet and mystic
The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.
Carl Rogers, pioneering American therapist
To arrange an appointment, or for more information, ring and speak to me direct. Clinics for hypnotherapy & counselling in Clifton, Bristol, Avon BS9 1JE and in Taunton, Somerset, TA2 7BZ
0845 351 0604 / 0117-968-7307
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