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Making relationships work: the language of intimacy

(Formerly entitled "Love Your Partner Now")

A weekend workshop for couples or singles who want more love, understanding and intimacy in their relating

This workshop will be scheduled several times in 2010, but we're not sure when yet.
Please check back here for the details.

Love is a messenger from the beyond. Yet the skills to deepen love are no mystery. Simple, straightforward tools are life-changing and will affect for the better every relationship you have. This workshop will introduce you to the key tools you need to know. Below - what you'll learn and experience in this relationship workshop.

Feedback from participants in previous courses

Learned loads of really good stuff – surpassed my expectations. Had a massive effect on my life. [Andrew was] brilliant – a complete star! This has been a beautiful few weeks. I am very grateful to you Andrew for having made this happen [… and bringing] more light and understanding into our lives. Emma C
A very good course. It has changed how I relate – I wanted to understand myself and how I relate to others and the course met my needs very well. Helen D
I’m more confident … I understand more how I interact with others … breaking a life of misunderstanding myself and others. [I found Andrew] a good straight-to-the point communicator. Sally R
[Andrew had some] … profound insights into relationships … explained clearly. [I’m] excited at understanding things I didn’t get before.
Met needs I didn’t know I had! I loved the fast-track approach to raising self-esteem, self-love and getting in touch with my essential being … [I had] “eureka” and “lights being switched on” moments. Fiona M.
A safe feeling and a great group in which to explore sensitive feelings. Real warmth and integrity.
Well-managed exercises that could be learnt from and applied outside of the course.
I found Andrew calm, clear, deep and intuitive and professional, capable and informative.
Very profound, enriching unravelling of the complexities of relationships. Really enlightening exercises.

Is this for you? Take this simple relationship health check:

Relationship health check

Imagine you honestly told a friend how good your relationship is. Score A, B, or C for each of the following questions.

	Score "C"	Score "B"	Score "A"
1. My partner says he or she loves me	If only!	Of course, but you can't hear that too often. More would be good.	I'm showered with love
2. I feel respected	I feel dismissed or unsafe	Mostly, but occasional contempt or belittling or sarcasm	Even when we fight, I feel respected and safe
3. We talk about the things that matter and resolve them	Never, there is an elephant in every corner OR we fight really a lot	Some things are addressed and resolved, some not	We address everything head-on and we come to agreement
4. We have no secrets	I know I hide a lot. For my partner, I wish I knew OR I know only too well.	Some things - everyone deserves privacy	We really open up
5. We are honest with each other about our feelings	I don't know what I feel, let alone what my partner feels	Yes, we know our feelings, but we could share more	We are both very in touch with our emotions and share that
6. Sex is great	Rare / painful / one or both of us avoids it	Good, not often "great"	Yes, great!!
7. We agree about money	A constant fight	We agree enough	We've worked this through
8. We agree about the children	They are torn between us	Mostly we agree, we're working on the rest	Harmony, we've discussed in depth
9. We are very affectionate	Cold and remote	We're affectionate, but I'd love more.	There's a strong joyful magnetism between our bodies.
10. Me and my partner are both free from needing to be in control	One or other of us is a control freak	Some power stuggles, but no fixed role of controller and controlled	We live in easy harmony
11. I can say no and put myself first	Saying "No" is selfish. I'm proud of meeting my partner's needs ahead of my own.	There are times I say Yes when I want to say No.	Saying No? No problem!
12. Neither of us is driven to help the other	One or other of us feels it would be unbearable if the other was hurt, or feels proud of helping, or does so only out of loyalty.	There is some element of pity between us, but no toxic loyalty.	What we give each other is true honest generous giving from the heart. We give out of overflow, not loyalty, guilt or obligation.
13. Overall, I get my needs met	No. This relationship is not giving me enough.	I get a lot, but I think about what I don't get.	Yes. This relationship is very fulfilling.

How you scored: No-one gets all A's. But everyone should get a lot of A's - well over half. And you should get zero "C"s. Every B represents potential for more connection, more love, more closeness. A "C" represents a wound in the relationship which needs healing.

What you will learn and experience

For singles or couples, all welcome.
Aimed at heterosexual relationships, but applies to all relationships, eg with the rest of your family. Same-sex couples welcome.
Safe, welcoming, entirely positive. Non-confrontational and respectful.
We will explore love and intimacy and how to communicate so that expressing your truth deepens love and brings you closer.
We'll do some positive and enjoyable exercises to re-connect with love for yourself. We’ll do exercises to feel safe and at home with the other participants.
We'll celebrate and expand what you are already doing well in your relating.
We'll tour some of the key emotional dynamics of successful and loving relationship, including those around co-dependency. These are so useful and transforming; everyone should know them, but almost nobody does.
Even when things are going badly, there are ways to communicate which bring love and understanding. We'll practise some of those ways of talking. Honesty really can bring people together.
There will be ways to deal with crises, and ways to make good times even better, to bring intimacy, love and understanding.
If there isn't time for all of the above, we'll choose the things which most interest participants.
If there is time, there will be an opportunity optionally to receive some individual coaching in how you communicate.
The aim of the weekend is to show you that love and joy can be permanent parts of your life. They are always there; you just have to pull the curtain back and let the sun in.

Any questions? Just give me a ring: 0845-3510604

You've got to dance like nobody's watching and love like it is never going to hurt.

Ann Wells, columnist in the Los Angeles Times

Love is the way messengers from the mystery tell us things.

Nisargadatta Maharaj

Hatred does not cease by hatred, but only by love; this is the eternal rule.

Gautam Buddha

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